Separation Anxiety Anxiety
We are currently experiencing a common parenting problem with Wesley that we were fortunate to have bypassed with Darcy. Separation anxiety, we are learning, can be a terrible thing. I guess we got off scott-free once and we can't expect that to happen both times.
Whenever we left Darcy with a babysitter, she was really excited. In fact, she would cry when we got home because the party was over. This is certainly not the case with Wesley. If I even go to the bathroom he'll scream and cry. Imagine the chaos if I actually need to leave the house and leave him in someone else's care! It's horrible.
We were really worried when we left on our cruise in the fall but he did fine then and we hoped the worst was behind us. I don't know if it was Nick's time away in January or what, but things have definitely gotten worse again over the past few weeks.
Every second Wednesday night we have a half an hour time frame between when I need to go to Kids' Club at church with Darcy and when Nick gets home from work. A very kind lady from our church (who Darcy loves to have babysitting) just lives around the corner and she has agreed to come and watch him on those weeks. As soon as she walks in the door, he freaks out. He knows what's coming. As Darcy and I are getting ready to go, he is screaming and clutching onto me for dear life. It's heartbreaking. Out the door we go, though and he has to wait until Nick comes home. Last Wednesday, Nick could hear the screaming as he rode his bike into the driveway. It's winter, all the doors and windows were closed and Nick could still hear the screaming. Apparently there was an ear-piercing screech when Nick came in the house too. Wesley hadn't stopped crying for the entire half hour. Willow tried every trick in the book (she has 5 children of her own and I've lost track of how many grandchildren she's got) and she couldn't get him to settle down. Then, when Nick got settled in, Wesley stopped crying and walked to the door to pick up Willow's boots and purse. The message was clear, "It's time for you to go now!"
On Sunday, Willow and her husband were sitting behind us in church. Wesley greeted her like she was his old friend and was laughing and smiling at her. She put her hands out to see if he would come to her though, and he jumped back into Nick's arms.
So we're really not sure what to do about this. Do we keep leaving him in other people's care when it's freaking him out. I can't stay in the house 24-7, so what do I do? I won't be able to lead Kids' Club with him there so taking him isn't an option. Also, Nick and I would like to go out on our own from time to time and that is next to impossible for us, without importing babysitters from out of town (grandparents or aunts and uncles). We were given movie gift certificates for Christmas 2007 that we didn't use until after Christmas 2008 because it's so hard for us to leave him. We're waiting to see how long Christmas 2008's gift certificates take to get used.
If anyone has dealt with separation anxiety and has any tips, let me know. If you've got a good set of earplugs and are looking for something to do some weekend, we could use a babysitter!
Whenever we left Darcy with a babysitter, she was really excited. In fact, she would cry when we got home because the party was over. This is certainly not the case with Wesley. If I even go to the bathroom he'll scream and cry. Imagine the chaos if I actually need to leave the house and leave him in someone else's care! It's horrible.
We were really worried when we left on our cruise in the fall but he did fine then and we hoped the worst was behind us. I don't know if it was Nick's time away in January or what, but things have definitely gotten worse again over the past few weeks.
Every second Wednesday night we have a half an hour time frame between when I need to go to Kids' Club at church with Darcy and when Nick gets home from work. A very kind lady from our church (who Darcy loves to have babysitting) just lives around the corner and she has agreed to come and watch him on those weeks. As soon as she walks in the door, he freaks out. He knows what's coming. As Darcy and I are getting ready to go, he is screaming and clutching onto me for dear life. It's heartbreaking. Out the door we go, though and he has to wait until Nick comes home. Last Wednesday, Nick could hear the screaming as he rode his bike into the driveway. It's winter, all the doors and windows were closed and Nick could still hear the screaming. Apparently there was an ear-piercing screech when Nick came in the house too. Wesley hadn't stopped crying for the entire half hour. Willow tried every trick in the book (she has 5 children of her own and I've lost track of how many grandchildren she's got) and she couldn't get him to settle down. Then, when Nick got settled in, Wesley stopped crying and walked to the door to pick up Willow's boots and purse. The message was clear, "It's time for you to go now!"
On Sunday, Willow and her husband were sitting behind us in church. Wesley greeted her like she was his old friend and was laughing and smiling at her. She put her hands out to see if he would come to her though, and he jumped back into Nick's arms.
So we're really not sure what to do about this. Do we keep leaving him in other people's care when it's freaking him out. I can't stay in the house 24-7, so what do I do? I won't be able to lead Kids' Club with him there so taking him isn't an option. Also, Nick and I would like to go out on our own from time to time and that is next to impossible for us, without importing babysitters from out of town (grandparents or aunts and uncles). We were given movie gift certificates for Christmas 2007 that we didn't use until after Christmas 2008 because it's so hard for us to leave him. We're waiting to see how long Christmas 2008's gift certificates take to get used.
If anyone has dealt with separation anxiety and has any tips, let me know. If you've got a good set of earplugs and are looking for something to do some weekend, we could use a babysitter!
posted by Sue Matthews at 9:19 PM
2 Comments:
Oh man! That is really tough. Wish I could give you some good practical advice. Sadly, I got nothing.
You are more than welcome to bring Wesley and Darcy over here anytime! I've been through separation anxiety twice and I'm already seeing signs of a third time up the road with Roman! Also, if I can handle Michael screaming for 5 hours straight, I can handle anytyhing! Seriously, we'll babysit ANYTIME!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home